HOW I BECAME ME [ep 1]

Bismillah...

I was told that in order to gain buyers, I must sell. And in order to sell, I must put in a few good words on what I'm selling. No, I'm not selling Amway products.

To be exact, I'm selling me. Yes, I'm selling myself out to the world. Who I was. Who I am. Who I'd like to be. If you're not interested in such a ridicule topic, then I suggest you deal with it, and get yourself invested in this matter. For both our sake. But mostly mine. :P

So, where shall I begin?

No, I won't start with how my parents met. Or how I was pushed out of my mother's womb. Or where I grew up. Not even where I live. Then, what exactly am I doing then? It has to start somewhere, right? Unfortunately, this isn't some intricate, best-selling novel where the beginning has to start off with a monologue of myself, or an action-packed scene where I ran from the bad guys. Definitely no flashbacks to past events while I slowly ascend to a certain point in the present, while questioning the future. Yada-yada-yada...No. This is how I commence my story about myself.

It all started in a toilet. Yes, a toilet. Not a public toilet or the men's restroom in a fancy 5-star restaurant. It's a toilet in my school. I went to a boys-only boarding school but technically, it ain't a boy's school. SMK Segambut Jaya. It doesn't seem like much. A plain ol' high school, built beside an intrepid, putrid, greenish pool of stool plant. So, every morning during assembly, we would be treated with a nice morning horrid-stench of poop.

Ok, let's get back to the toilet. Oh, don't get me started on the toilets. Holy stool! Anyway..so there I was, crouching in a toilet stall on a normal day. Contemplating on my life choices as I await every single drop of waste. It seemed like a normal day in school. As I was exerting myself to the final push, a knock on the door came flying by, averting my focus. "Occupied!" I yelled, Another knock on the door. "Seriously? Can't a guy defecate in peace?" I said to the unknown assailant. The knock turned into a loud bang. Another. Then another. It's like he's trying to kick the door down.

"What the heck?!!!" I yelled furiously. And then followed by a certain myriads of curses and yelling that I dare not say. Soon, the banging stopped. Total silence. My last piece of junk, still hanging by a thread. "Plop." It fell into the potty-hole. "Finally.." I sighed. And after a moment of washing and cleaning, I put on my pants, tried opening the door. But to no avail. I pushed the door again. It won't budge. It's stuck. Either that, or I was locked from the outside, or someone weighing 300 pounds was holding it off. I tried pushing the door again. No luck. I kicked it, Hard. Nothing. It just won't budge.
"Perfect. This is just perfect," I said to myself. The next few minutes were nothing but me, yelling and screaming for just about anyone to come to my aid. But my efforts were in vain. The bell rang. Recess was over. Everyone's probably in class. And there I was, in a toilet stall. Alone. Accompanied by the smell.




To be continued...

Rise And Shine...For The Umpteenth Time

Why Is It So Hard To Wake Up For Subuh?

It is customary for an average earthling like myself to wake up early in the morning (which I don't do most of the time). Especially to perform the Subuh prayer. And it is also customary for me and almost everyone else to have troubles getting our arse off the bed.

How come? Why? Huh?

Yeah, the bed is nice and cozy. The warm, soft and soothing embrace from the blanket surpasses even the comfort from a cup of hot espresso in a cold winter morning. And then suddenly, the alarm buzzes off, snapping you back to reality.

Yeah, yeah..I get it. Waking up in the morning (especially early even before the birds get to the worm) isn't easy. And like I always say, "There's always a reason."

So the question to the latter here is: Why is it so hard to wake up for Subuh?

I. Have. No. Idea.

But...Someone else does.

Back in 2012, when I was in first year of med school, a friend of mine (former housemate) once told me about this matter in deference to the question that i imparted beforehand. He asked me, "Do you know why it's so hard to wake up and perform the Subuh prayer?" I answered, "Coz we're half-conscious and still weezy from our deep, snore-induced slumber?"

He simply said:

We're being chained to our beds by non-other than the friendly neighborhood, Spiderman. No, wait. i'm just kidding. It's the demons, of course. Now, now..to all you skeptics out there..I'm referring to the Syaitans..Not the soul possessing, dream-eating, mind-bending, spine-tingling demons that y'all see in the movies. Screw that.

So, basically..Them bad boys chained us to our beds to prevent us from waking up and performing our solat. What was that you ask? You don't see the chains? Of course, you can't see em! I don't mean like a literal steel-embedded chains. OMG. Don't be such a hard-head. They're some sort of magical invisible spiritual chain or whatever. Ok, back to the topic.

So, how do we break these chains? By simply waking up of course. Duhh..Once we wake up and get off the bed, the 1st chain, which is the hardest, will break. Ka-Ching! Just coz we break one chain, doesn't mean we're free. Coz there's a chance we can still resume our sleep.

Then, once we make our way to the bathroom/toilet for our wudhu' or ablution, the 2nd chain breaks. Hold on there, Eager McBeaver. We ain't done yet. We can still fall victim to the bed's calling and return to it's warm embrace. So chill out.

At last, once we are to begin our Subuh prayer that the 3rd and final chain breaks. Ergo, freeing us from the demon's hellish grasp of fortitude. I mean, seriously...you're on the sejadah and about to start your solat. There ain't no way that you're suddenly gonna turn tail and head back to sleep, right? Coz if you do, then you've got issues.

So...yeah, I guess that's pretty much it for my second entry.
I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do or say. Maybe it's coz i still find it "not easy" to wake my housemates up in the morning. But hey..the same goes for me. In fact, I'm worse. I sleep like a dead guy that was anaesthetised heavily and also injected with paralytics while already in coma. Oh, and I snore. How loud? You know that sound that an airplane makes when it zooms past you in the nearby horizon? Yeah..like that.


Here's a little something for you to ponder on.

From Al Bara bin 'Azib reported: The Messenger of Allah said, "When you go to sleep, perform your wudhu' beforehand like you're about to pray. Then lie down on your right ribs, then pray:
"O Allah, I have subjected my face in front of you. I leave it all to you. I surrendered myself to you with great anticipation (with your reward) and fear your punishments. There is no place of refuge and a place to escape but to you. I believe with thy book which thou hast revealed to the Prophet and you are sent)." And do not say any more after that. If you die that night, and then you die in a state of fitrah (pure).

When you woke up not remembering what happened yesterday.

How Did I End Up Here?

The Beginning of a Journey...(ugh, so cheesy)

Assalamualaikum.

Waddup.

So..err..I just created a blog. Yeah. And this is my first post. Err..yayy?
I thought about blogging way back when I was 15, though it cease-fired.
It just seems that I haven't the desire to actually do it back then.
Commitment issues perhaps. Well..I was a young, dumb, angsty teen. What d'you expect?

Ergo, the question is..How did I ended up here anyway?
Honestly, I have no idea. It just came to me and I thought, "Why the heck not?"

So, here I am, posting in my blog for the very first time, in the middle of the night, at 2 am.
Geez, I wonder what's next.

Err..I'm obviously clueless on what should I do next.
Usually people blog about their lives. Some talk about others. Some talk about music, food, animals, educational stuff, etc.

Thus, in which category or niche should I concede to? What kind of theme am I trying to convey?
Hmmm..
I guess I'll have to find out myself then. Let's just hope I don't succumb to weird and nasty things and starts posting crap about..well..u know..CRAP.. (pardon the language)

Anyway, I'd like to give my teeny tiny speck of appreciation to my fellow housemate, Ubai or better known as Kataubaid, the world-famous blogger who talks about..err..things..

So..err..thanks Ubai..For what? For no reason. Duhh...
Maybe the reason I suddenly started this blog is due to my subconscious needs that was reimbursed as I sit by and watch Ubai blogging about his..err..stuff day in and day out. Maybe I reacted instinctively. Or perhaps I'm just blatantly out of my mind. Who knows?


Whoops..It's getting late and I better sleep now (it's already late in the first place). I was expected to turn up at the lectures tomorrow. Wait, I mean today. So I guess this entry ends here then, huh? Thanks for wasting your time reading this thingy. I know..I know..It's not much. But hey..give it time, and soon it'll grow like fungus on leftover breads spread with blue cheese on an alloy tin can sprayed with organophosphate. Emmm..I'm gibbering, am I? Sorry 'bout that.

So...how do I end an entry? Don't bloggers usually have their ways of closing a curtain? Coz I have no idea. Clueless newbie blogger in dire needs of help here. LOL...

Emmm...See ya later, alligator?

Pfff...that was so lame. >.<''

Sorry for the lame post. Here's a baby panda to make it up to you. Now deal with it. Ciao...