Bismillah...
I was told that in order to gain buyers, I must sell. And in order to sell, I must put in a few good words on what I'm selling. No, I'm not selling Amway products.
To be exact, I'm selling me. Yes, I'm selling myself out to the world. Who I was. Who I am. Who I'd like to be. If you're not interested in such a ridicule topic, then I suggest you deal with it, and get yourself invested in this matter. For both our sake. But mostly mine. :P
So, where shall I begin?
No, I won't start with how my parents met. Or how I was pushed out of my mother's womb. Or where I grew up. Not even where I live. Then, what exactly am I doing then? It has to start somewhere, right? Unfortunately, this isn't some intricate, best-selling novel where the beginning has to start off with a monologue of myself, or an action-packed scene where I ran from the bad guys. Definitely no flashbacks to past events while I slowly ascend to a certain point in the present, while questioning the future. Yada-yada-yada...No. This is how I commence my story about myself.
It all started in a toilet. Yes, a toilet. Not a public toilet or the men's restroom in a fancy 5-star restaurant. It's a toilet in my school. I went to a boys-only boarding school but technically, it ain't a boy's school. SMK Segambut Jaya. It doesn't seem like much. A plain ol' high school, built beside an intrepid, putrid, greenish pool of stool plant. So, every morning during assembly, we would be treated with a nice morning horrid-stench of poop.
Ok, let's get back to the toilet. Oh, don't get me started on the toilets. Holy stool! Anyway..so there I was, crouching in a toilet stall on a normal day. Contemplating on my life choices as I await every single drop of waste. It seemed like a normal day in school. As I was exerting myself to the final push, a knock on the door came flying by, averting my focus. "Occupied!" I yelled, Another knock on the door. "Seriously? Can't a guy defecate in peace?" I said to the unknown assailant. The knock turned into a loud bang. Another. Then another. It's like he's trying to kick the door down.
"What the heck?!!!" I yelled furiously. And then followed by a certain myriads of curses and yelling that I dare not say. Soon, the banging stopped. Total silence. My last piece of junk, still hanging by a thread. "Plop." It fell into the potty-hole. "Finally.." I sighed. And after a moment of washing and cleaning, I put on my pants, tried opening the door. But to no avail. I pushed the door again. It won't budge. It's stuck. Either that, or I was locked from the outside, or someone weighing 300 pounds was holding it off. I tried pushing the door again. No luck. I kicked it, Hard. Nothing. It just won't budge.
"Perfect. This is just perfect," I said to myself. The next few minutes were nothing but me, yelling and screaming for just about anyone to come to my aid. But my efforts were in vain. The bell rang. Recess was over. Everyone's probably in class. And there I was, in a toilet stall. Alone. Accompanied by the smell.
To be continued...
I was told that in order to gain buyers, I must sell. And in order to sell, I must put in a few good words on what I'm selling. No, I'm not selling Amway products.
To be exact, I'm selling me. Yes, I'm selling myself out to the world. Who I was. Who I am. Who I'd like to be. If you're not interested in such a ridicule topic, then I suggest you deal with it, and get yourself invested in this matter. For both our sake. But mostly mine. :P
So, where shall I begin?
No, I won't start with how my parents met. Or how I was pushed out of my mother's womb. Or where I grew up. Not even where I live. Then, what exactly am I doing then? It has to start somewhere, right? Unfortunately, this isn't some intricate, best-selling novel where the beginning has to start off with a monologue of myself, or an action-packed scene where I ran from the bad guys. Definitely no flashbacks to past events while I slowly ascend to a certain point in the present, while questioning the future. Yada-yada-yada...No. This is how I commence my story about myself.
It all started in a toilet. Yes, a toilet. Not a public toilet or the men's restroom in a fancy 5-star restaurant. It's a toilet in my school. I went to a boys-only boarding school but technically, it ain't a boy's school. SMK Segambut Jaya. It doesn't seem like much. A plain ol' high school, built beside an intrepid, putrid, greenish pool of stool plant. So, every morning during assembly, we would be treated with a nice morning horrid-stench of poop.
Ok, let's get back to the toilet. Oh, don't get me started on the toilets. Holy stool! Anyway..so there I was, crouching in a toilet stall on a normal day. Contemplating on my life choices as I await every single drop of waste. It seemed like a normal day in school. As I was exerting myself to the final push, a knock on the door came flying by, averting my focus. "Occupied!" I yelled, Another knock on the door. "Seriously? Can't a guy defecate in peace?" I said to the unknown assailant. The knock turned into a loud bang. Another. Then another. It's like he's trying to kick the door down.
"What the heck?!!!" I yelled furiously. And then followed by a certain myriads of curses and yelling that I dare not say. Soon, the banging stopped. Total silence. My last piece of junk, still hanging by a thread. "Plop." It fell into the potty-hole. "Finally.." I sighed. And after a moment of washing and cleaning, I put on my pants, tried opening the door. But to no avail. I pushed the door again. It won't budge. It's stuck. Either that, or I was locked from the outside, or someone weighing 300 pounds was holding it off. I tried pushing the door again. No luck. I kicked it, Hard. Nothing. It just won't budge.
"Perfect. This is just perfect," I said to myself. The next few minutes were nothing but me, yelling and screaming for just about anyone to come to my aid. But my efforts were in vain. The bell rang. Recess was over. Everyone's probably in class. And there I was, in a toilet stall. Alone. Accompanied by the smell.
To be continued...
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